if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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