Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
