i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
