I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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