guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
