whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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