we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
