He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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