like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
