I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
