Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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