I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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