those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
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You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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