can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
