You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
