we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
