Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
