the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
