how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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