3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
