i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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