Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
