fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
