did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
