I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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