I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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