His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
