I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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