i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
