Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
