She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
