is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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