You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
