That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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