he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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