So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
