Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
