and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
