Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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