So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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