Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
