No stitches, just platelets and will power
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
