what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
