Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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