Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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