youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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