If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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