It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
