Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
