a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
