so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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