i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think I have vodka in my lungs
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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