Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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