Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
40s are totally the cure
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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