after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
