Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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