Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
