After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
