does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
