i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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