If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
