if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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