I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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