We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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