He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
