she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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